I did not have a barbie doll

I Have a Confession to Make: I Didn’t Have a Barbie Doll Growing Up

As an 80’s kid? I think I’m traumatized.

In Brazil, Barbie Dolls were imported from the USA and elsewhere, and at that time to get one your parents had to travel and bring them home in their suitcases. It was a symbol of status and I was not a cool kid.

I did have other Brazilian dolls like Suzie and all the baby dolls manufactured by our local toys factory Estrela, but among the kids they were not cool enough. It was Barbie or bust. 

In my case, I wasn't really interested in that skinny lady with long blond hair because I liked action. And how could Barbie climb mountains or do sports when her feet were always pointed? I loved all the “boy toys” like soccer balls, Indian tents, the Fort Apache set, and my favorite Thunderbird Island with all the rocket ships flying to the sky.

I was happily running around with my toys until reality came and smacked me to the ground. The popular girls had Barbies. Here I was, wishing I had the pink Barbie car, the house, the dog and the doll with her pointed feet and pretty dresses. That pink dreamy world seemed like a psychedelic trip to me. 

And now there was another problem. Everyone wanted to be Barbie and to do that you needed to be skinny, have long and preferably blond hair, and sparkly blue eyes. I was pretty much the exact opposite of a Barbie. My hair was jet black, my eyes muddy brown, and I was a chubby Tomboy. 

Soon enough everyone was going on crazy diets and some of them even became anorexic. Sad but true. In the 80’s, we were expected to look a certain way to be successful if, of course, we wanted to find a Ken to help us around. 

To me, Barbie represented everything I couldn’t and didn’t want to be.

I’m sorry to disappoint you guys, but I became traumatized by Barbie and everything she stood for on those damn pointy feet.

And now I see myself surrounded by…what?! Barbie in the flesh and blood? Walking around in all shapes, colors, outfits! Barbie is everywhere on social media and you can’t run away from her even if you have anatomically correct feet. 

I tried to hide and pretend it was not happening when a pink Barbie car parked in front of my building and 3 women all dressed in pink came out. They had just watched Barbie.

I decided to watch something else. Thank God the Oppenheimer movie was also in theaters. I went to see it in defiance. But I still couldn’t hide. We came out at the same time the Barbie movie ended. 

As we all walked out of the movie, my face contorted with worry. Will this be the end of the world? The Barbie crowd continued to laugh all the way out of the theater, posting selfies with her life-size toy box. I feared I’d never be able to escape her, even as an adult. 

But I have to face it, I thought. I called my friend Paula.

“Would you please come with me?” 

“What?” she asked.

“Please come watch Barbie with me. It will be a difficult moment. All of those childhood memories haunt me. It’s everywhere. And it’s time I face it.”

She graciously agreed and the next day we were there, all in pink waiting in line to buy our tickets. My shaky hands gripped the popcorn bucket as we took our seats and waiting in darkness.

The movie started. It is Barbie Land!! My heart raced and I felt a cold chill run down my spine. Was I ready to face her after all these years of feeling left out of her world?

I won’t spoil the movie for you, but Barbie does go to the real world. And I got to see her struggle and try to fit in with us humans. A “perfect” doll facing new challenges. I won’t lie, it was interesting to watch her navigate reality.

Oh, well, I thought. Everyone should have a second chance. Even Barbie.    

So yeah, I had fun watching the movie. It wasn’t what I expected. I even took a selfie in Barbie’s toy box. It took a lot of courage to do that. 

My real hope is that Barbie can continue to adapt and change and that little girls and boys can see themselves in these toys. And adults too. Who says we’re too old to play with dolls? 

Maybe soon we will have a 50-year-old barbie with a guitar in hand trying to find her bandmates and rocking out with thousands of other musicians?