pink eye or covid-19? health-related anxiety is a new pandemic

It has been a tough night, my eye itches like crazy and I can barely sleep. I run to the mirror in the morning and there it is, all red, puffy, and swollen. My heartbeat quickens and I start to sweat. I realize my throat also hurts and my chest feels sore. I can’t breathe. My mind races to all the worse case scenarios: COVID-19. Let’s Google it. “Pink Eye symptoms.” Yep there it is. Eye inflammation can be a symptom of the disease. What should I do now? I consult the tiny doctor inside my brain. 

“Hello, Tiny Brain Doctor, how can I help you?”

“It’s me. My eye. I think it’s Corona…”

“Ah, I see. Did you consult Google?”

“Yes, of course. It says it is a symptom.”

“OK, hold, please. I will transfer you over to the Panic Center.”

It does not take long for me to submerge myself in total panic. I knew this day would come. How could I be so careless? But no, I was careful. Masks, distancing, the whole thing. I stayed totally indoors for almost 4 months. I wouldn’t even risk poking my nose out of the window. 

The shopping bags and groceries were all carefully sterilized and wiped. My bananas now tasted like Clorox and the apples turned brown. Everything following the news and CDC guidance. So how could this be possible? 

I suffer from health anxiety, in other words, Hypochondria. “Obsession with the idea of having a serious but undiagnosed medical condition.” If before the Pandemic this was a condition affecting some people, now it is an epidemic. On top of another epidemic. It is like your worst nightmare has become a reality. All of a sudden you start living the movie Contagion except its real life and you are the main character. 

The news changes every day. There is a vaccine on the way, well actually not. Kids won’t get it, but wait, they do and it is really bad. It is an old people disease but middle-aged patients are the ones dying. Wipe your fruit. Do not wipe your fruit. Hydroxychloroquine anyone? Only if you are a Republican. New York is the epicenter, no wait, not anymore now it is Florida. Who will catch it? Who is immune? 

TEST me, please! I wait in line patiently to have a Q-tip shoved inside my brain. Hundreds of cars lined up filled with sneezing and coughing people to be tested. I know people who have been testing every week. I give up. I don’t think my Pink Eye is worth the stress of being in line for hours and behind all those germs flying around. 

And what about panic attacks? I have many friends that are suffering from panic attacks in their homes. The thought of going outside is paralyzing and the idea of contracting the virus is even worse. 

We are living in a world of fear, where we are all controlled by our emotions. But despite the overwhelming fear, we do have the capacity to take back that control. In addition to listening to the CDC and medical professionals, there are many ways to survive the rest of this pandemic, with your sanity intact.

It is time to challenge yourself to turn away from the fake news flying around that is trying to grab you and elicit your fears. Reach out to your friends and family, protect yourself by wearing masks, and practicing social distancing. But please, go for a WALK. Everyday. Breathe. Remember this will pass and most people will be fine. This is not the first pandemic and in the past, there were much fewer resources.

And challenge your “tiny doctor” when it starts to give you all the worst outcomes. 

Medicine, therapy, and friends help but you are the one who is in the command. You have more control over this than you think you do.